When Fear Is Loud, Find The Compromise

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One of my clients planned a holiday in Europe with his family. And he was about to not get on the plane.

Here he was: mentally preparing to drop them off at the airport, kiss his kids and partner goodbye, and then stay back to work on his business.

No villa by the ocean. No quality time with his kids. No date night with his partner.

It hurt my heart.

When we got on our coaching call I could tell this was NOT the outcome he wanted. He had a big dilemma.

He wasn't hitting his July income goals. He was worried his team back at home wouldn't work as hard if he wasn't around to support them. And he couldn't afford to not hit his numbers, so what should he do?

 As a coach and as a wife and new mother, my heart actually hurt. My head went into slight panic. I kept thinking, "he can't miss this vacation! His kids have been waiting for it. How can dad not be there? How do I tell him to go?!"

 I actually had to breathe because as a coach, my role isn't to give advice or guidance. I'm not the expert in his world and he needs to come up with his own solutions.

So, I sat back in my chair and listened. I asked him questions to reflect on the situation. To explore different possibilities. And to help him come up with what he was going to do. 

He was torn.

I was torn.

And then, he used the word: COMPROMISE.

Compromise is a conflict style where no one gets all of their needs met, but everyone involved gets some of their needs met.

Compromises are a 'middle ground' for everyone involved.

So we explored compromise.

He said, "maybe I can compromise. Maybe I can get my family on their flight, then 2 days later I'll join them. Then I can work for a few hours during the week to keep things moving and then it would be more of a compromise from both sides: my business, my family and myself."

We coached on the pros and cons. The benefits and challenges. How he wanted to show up as a leader, father and partner.

And then he decided to go for it. And do you know what happened? I'll let him tell it...

“I’ve been back from Italy for a full day and thought I’d share some updates. I was able to work normal hours from Italy and maintain continuity with several possible new accounts and even did a few training sessions.

We secured an additional £25k of revenue while I was in Italy and today £20k came in within 15 minutes at the same time that I had an agreement of a new £6k campaign. There is another £30k of briefs out there so we may hit over £90k before the end of the month.

It was the right call to go to Italy and working out there so I appreciate your guidance and thought process of the ‘middle ground’ of continuing to work just in Italy instead of in the office here.”

Incredible results.

And he came with the problem, the solutions and took action.

What's even more incredible... is that when we're living in fear or worry or scarcity, we often can't see the 'middle ground', the compromise.

We can't see the possibilities.

We can't see alternatives.

Except, there's always better ways of doing things.

There's always a way to do something differently to get the outcomes we want. And in fact, sometimes it's an even BETTER way and the universe is just testing us.

Working from the beach with his family was the best of both worlds. And he realized, Why don't I do this more often?!


So how about you? What's a challenge going on in your life? What would a compromise, or a 'middle ground' solution look like?

Come up with 3 compromises and see if there are any you'd like to take action on.


Tracey Livingston